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In the past week, I haven’t been very social. When I went to set up this week’s Re-Tweets of the week, I realized that I didn’t Re-Tweet a single thing over the last seven days, and posted very little in the way of my own Twitter conversation. Instead, I have been doing a lot of thinking, searching, and questioning, inside of my head about my career and where it might be headed. Freelancing and producing this website over the last year has been wonderful and has made me happier in any job that I have ever had. But, frankly, it just isn’t paying the bills the way I would like it to.

It was time I asked myself the ultimate question…

What do I want to be when I grow up?

Last night, I met with a career coach. Leading up to the meeting, I didn’t really know what to expect, but a tiny part of me was hoping that she would just take a look at my resume, and say “I know what you should be doing! Here it is, and here is how you get the job…” I knew that it was a little far fetched, but to my surprise, she didn’t even want to see my resume or hear much about my current or previous work experience. I thought that odd since we had met to talk about my career. But, she instead wanted to hear about how I saw myself, what ideals I valued, what short term goals I had, and what my fears were. Before I knew it, I was spilling my guts to her as if she were a therapist and I were laying on a couch in a private room rather than sitting across from her at table tucked away in a cozy neighborhood coffee shop. Within minutes, she pinpointed the very problem that I knew I had but didn’t know how to express or solve and why I had come to her in the first place. I was living in a cloud and I was stuck, unable to move forward. I needed a guide.

It was then dawning on me that for most of my adult life, I have been living like a college student that needs to pick a major, but either wants to pick several, or doesn’t what to pick anything, and therefor ends up doing nothing except complaining about not knowing what to do. I was in desperate need of clarity and to my astounding relief she knew how to give me some. She said to me that I needed to write my Personal Mission Statement. Now, I knew what a Mission Statement was, I have read hundreds of them over the years and have even written a few. But writing one for me, about me, and that was really only meant to be viewed by me, was a totally new concept. I had to ask – “What does one do with a Personal Mission Statement if you don’t show it to anyone?” She replied simply “You don’t do anything with it. But it will do lots for you. It will lift the cloud and you will finally be able to see your path.”

“Really?” I sort of squeaked in an almost breathless voice. I couldn’t believe it.

“Really!” She was firm and convincing.

“Well, how do I write one? Where do I start?” I asked, still a little skeptical.

“You write down the answers to four specific questions. And the answers don’t have to be in sentence form, it’s actually better if they aren’t. Just brainstorm. Use single words, and don’t think about it too much.”

“What are the questions?” Now eager, I felt as if she was about to grant me access to a mighty secret that only few had the great privilege of knowing. She had the key to the golden treasure of my life that was hidden deep in the jungles of my uncertainty. I couldn’t wait for her to tell me.

She began writing on a piece of paper…

———————

1. Who am I? – IDENTITY

2. What am I passionate about? – VALUES

3. What do I want to do? – DREAMS

4. Who do I want to do this with? – COMMUNITY

———————

When she showed me the paper, I was baffled. “But, this is no secret!” I thought. “These are the same questions I have been asking myself for months on end already!” I told her what I was thinking and she wasn’t the least bit surprised.

She went on to tell me that she knew I was already asking those questions because otherwise I wouldn’t have come to her. I came to her because I needed the missing piece which was how to connect the answers to each of the questions. She said that a large part of my problem was that I was searching for one solid answer, and that just wasn’t the way it worked. It’s the fragments that mattered and that’s why I wasn’t allowed to answer the questions in sentence form but rather in single words. Once I knew what all of my fragments were, and had them visually in front of me, then I would be able to see the connections and the clarity that I was so desperately seeking would begin to evolve.

So, this is what I will be doing for the next week – answering these four questions in fragments. I actually plan on using note cards to write my fragments on so that I can then scatter them all around me on the floor and see how they might connect. I expect it to look like a total mess. I can’t wait! ^_^

Once I do have my Personal Mission Statement, my career coach has promised me that she will then help me in further connecting it with an actual job that will allow me to pay my bills, meet my goals, retain my happiness, and continue with my website and possibly even my freelance work. I pray that her plan works.

I’ll let you know how it goes… <to be continued>